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Monday, December 19, 2005

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like A Non-Denominational Winter Holiday!

You are soldiers in the War on Christmas.

And you’re all doing a hell of a job.

So good in fact, some freak job wrote a book about us, "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse than You Thought."

Damn right it is.

Sure, we’ve been acting this whole time like what we’re truly interested in is inclusion. But we all know that’s a smokescreen. We don’t give a shit about Jews, Muslims, Blacks or Agnostics. We care about #1. And #1 don’t like Jesus freaks. We like naked, vulgar, pagan godlessness. Oh yeah.

But we’ve been found out. The far-Christian right has seen through our veil of political correctness to what lies beneath. We don’t really care about other faiths, people’s feelings or embracing the melting pot of American culture. We are just caddy. We know that every time, one of us says “Happy Holidays!” all Pat Roberts hears is: “Fuck you, Jesus!” Ha ha ha.

Keep going you guys! You’re doing great. See you after “the holidays!”

And be sure to check your liberal agenda in the coming weeks. Our “Screw Easter!” campaign is right around the corner!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

"I wanna' be a liberalist!"

My first Laughing Liberally Show! So I guess I'm in it. Like, to win it. Y'all. Come check it out if you are down NY way for New Years weekend!

The Laughing Liberally Lab
Friday, December 30, 11pm (kinda' late, but not for new yorkers)
@ The 45th Street Theater
354 West 45th Street, 2nd floor
(Between 8th and 9th Ave.) Admission - $10
Reservations: (212) 967-7079 x210

http://www.laughingliberally.com/index.html

Laughing Liberally is a comedy show which uses humor and laughter to spread understanding of liberal ideas and advance progressive values. Showcasing the brightest progressive comedians from all across the nation in an off-Broadway show in New York City and on a national tour, Laughing Liberally will save democracy one laugh at a time.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Podcasts? What could possibly be next?

So, listen to any good podcasts lately?

What the fuck is a podcast?

We are so starved for entertainment in this country that we read People magazine while watching the E channel and looking at pictures of Jennifer Aniston’s boobs on the Internet, at the same time. Now, we’re supposed to listen to podcasts on our Ipod too?

We are shoving entertainment into every possible orifice.

If they invented a pipe that you stuck up your ass that let you watch NASCAR, the Paris Hilton sex video, and Everybody Loves Raymond, someone would use it.

“Okay, you put these goggles on, and shove this pipe up your ass, and voila.”

They’d call it Assertainment. Or Buttopia.

“It’s Buttopia! It’s like Tivo, only in your poop hole!”

Then people would be like, “I don’t know, shove it up my ass? Isn’t that kind of gay?”

So just to reassure people, they’d get a famous celebrity who obviously isn’t gay, like Chuck Norris, to do a testimonial ad: “I love Buttopia. And the ladies love me."

The early adopters would be passing around the lube two weeks before Buttopia hit the market. But for the skeptics, they’d have exclusive programming you couldn’t see anywhere else. Want to see home movies of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise fixing up their baby nursery? Yeah, we bet you do. Shove this up your ass and all your dreams can come true.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Laughing Liberally Showcase

So I got a call back and performed on the showcase at Stand Up, NY last week. It was a blast. Stand outs included Eddie Brill, Dean Obedallah and Brian Finklestein from the UCB theatre, oh and me of course. There were a few other Bostonians on the bill, Baratunde and Myq Kaplan (my road tripping buddy) and Sean Crispo (formerly of Framingham.) Despite the 4 hours down and back (thanks for driving Amy!) it was a really great experience.

Laughing Liberally is still amorphous like comedy vapor but should be taking human form soon in the shape of the Laughing Liberally "Lab" and an upcoming club and college tour. I hope to be a part of it!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

November Comedy

November 2nd @ 8pm at the Comedy Studio (above the Hong Kong in Harvard Sq.)
thecomedystudio.com

November 5th @ 9pm on the Walsh Bros. Hilarium at the Thirsty Ear Pub, on the MIT campus
http://web.mit.edu/thirsty-ear/

Indictment Party at My House!

I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve! I’m going to wake up tomorrow and ask: "Did Fitzgerald come? Did he bring me a Scooter? How about a Cheney? Oh boy, I hope it’s a Cheney!"

Hey, they wanted Infinite Justice didn't they?

A terrific article in Salon today talks about the greater implications of the investigation. Remember, leaking Valerie Plame's name was tantamount to a death threat, a Godfather-style tactic to intimidate Wilson into keeping his mouth shut about real evidence AGAINST going to war in Iraq. If they get perjury or obstruction of justice, they are getting off easy. If Clinton did it, we'd be hearing words like treason.

But I think David Letterman said it best: “The real crime is that there's an adult man walking around in the current administration named Scooter."

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/10/26/questions/index.html

"If Fitzgerald hands down indictments, Washington will face a political upheaval not seen since the Clinton impeachment. But that will not be the only, or even necessarily the most important, effect of Fitzgerald's decisions. The resulting criminal process could also, for the first time, throw open the doors on the inner workings of the White House during one of the most controversial periods of recent American history. After 22 months of investigation, Fitzgerald, a Chicago-based prosecutor, may know more about the internecine battles that led to the outing of Valerie Plame than even the most well-connected intelligence wonks."

Monday, October 24, 2005

America braces for 2000th dead soldier in Iraq

I read this headline today. The news media predicts this grim upcoming milestone like another Hurricane. Just chomping at the bit for the next casualty. Do we need to talk about our military death toll like Superfresh’s 2000th customer? Do balloons fall? Does he or she get a coupon for $5 off a Swiffer? How about we just focus on mourning the current dead, not the future.

Friday, October 07, 2005

This isn't about right and left. It's about right and wrong. - Cindy Sheehan

Russ Fenigold's Response to Bush's Speech

October 6, 2005


"The President still does not understand that his failed Iraq policy is making America weaker and our enemies stronger. The administration's strategy in Iraq is providing terrorists around the world with a recruiting pitch, international networking opportunities, unity with Iraqi nationalists, and on-the-job training in urban combat. We cannot afford a "stay the course," open-ended commitment in Iraq that threatens to break the U.S. Army and hurt the economy. Such a policy keeps America bogged down in Iraq rather than engaged in what should be a global campaign against terrorism. It's time for the President to put forward a strategy that actually makes us stronger in the fight against terrorism and safer here at home -- unfortunately he failed to do that today."

In June, Feingold introduced a resolution, the first of its kind in the Senate, that calls for the President to clarify the military mission in Iraq, lay out a plan and timeframe for accomplishing that mission, and publicly articulate a plan for American troops to return home. In August Feingold again jump-started the discussion by becoming the first member of the U.S. Senate to propose a target date to finish the mission in Iraq -- December 31, 2006.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

October Comedy

October 14th, 8pm

The Comedy Studio
3rd floor above the Hong Kong
1236 Massachusetts Ave., Harvard Sq.
Cambridge, Ma

Follow the stench of meat from Bartley's Burger Cottage.

It's a good idea to call for reservations. 617.661.6507.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Laughing Liberally Auditions

I'm trying out for a political comedy tour called Laughing Liberally. It's absolutely the perfect blend of my two favorite things (no, not fried dough and ice cream), socio-political activism and pants-peeing humor.

I'll be out rehearsing my audition set wherever I can this week, The Emerald Isle Sunday, The Office on Wed., and The Comedy Studio on Thursday. The rest of the time, I'll be puking because I'm so nervous.

Wish me luck, keep your fingers crossed, all that good stuff.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Support McCain Anti-Torture Bill

Please write, call or email your senators and President Bush. Ask them to support the McCain, Warner, Graham amendment to this year's defense bill that would outlaw "cruel, inhumane or degrading treatment" of prisoners in U.S. custody. It will also prevent the military from keeping "ghost detainees" off the books, and require interrogators to use only those techniques approved in the Army's new field manual.

Incredibly, the Bush Administration has threatened a veto of the entire defense bill over this one provision, saying it would "impair [the President's] ability to protect the nation from terrorists."

Go here to send an email to your senators: http://www.workingforchange.com/activism/action.cfm?itemid=19450

Go here for other ideas on how you can let George Bush that supporting torture is UNAMERICAN:

http://web.amnesty.org/pages/stoptorture-index-eng

Thursday, August 04, 2005

August Comedy Calendar

August 13 and 31st at 8pm.

The Comedy Studio
3rd floor above the Hong Kong
1236 Massachusetts Ave., Harvard Sq.
Cambridge, Ma

Follow the stench of meat from Bartley's Burger Cottage.

Call for reservations. 617.661.6507.

Monday, June 13, 2005

June Comedy Calendar

Thursday, June 30th at 8pm
The Dan Sally show @ the Comedy Studio

The Comedy Studio is on the 3rd floor of the Hong Kong club/chinese food restaurant. If you can figure out why every Boston comedy club seems to double as a Chinese restaurant, you win a free egg roll.

1236 Mass. Ave., in Harvard Square
617-661-6507
www.thecomedystudio.com
tickets : $9


If you can't make it on June 30th, check out my other upcoming dates at the Comedy Studio:
July 17, 27, August 13, 31st.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Summer Comedy Calendar

Sunday, June 26th, 7pm
Women in Comedy @ Jimmy T's

Hosted by Deb Farrar-Parkman, staring me and some of the Boston area's funniest vagina-toting comics.

Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway Theatre
255 Elm St., Davis Square, next to the Burren
$5 for students with ID, $8 for everyone else
Call 617-591-1616 or visit jtoffbroadway.com for tickets or buy them at the door.
Check the website for information about FREE parking.


Thursday, June 30th at 8pm
The Dan Sally show @ the Comedy Studio

The Comedy Studio is on the 3rd floor of the Hong Kong club/chinese food restaurant. If you can figure out why every Boston comedy club seems to double as a Chinese restaurant, you win a free egg roll.

1236 Mass. Ave., in Harvard Square
617-661-6507
www.thecomedystudio.com
tickets : $9


If you can't make it on June 30th, check out my other upcoming dates at the Comedy Studio:
July 17, 27, August 13, 31st.





Thursday, May 26th, 9pm
College Comedy Night @ Jimmy Tingle's

You don't have to be in college to have a good time at this show.

You will also have a good time if you:
went to college, started community college but never finished, blacked out and can't remember if you finished college, had a life-changing experience when you went to Blaine! beauty college, took a class on air conditioning repair over the Internet once, have strong feelings about revamping the electoral college, beat up someone who went to college.

It's College Comedy Night, hosted by the very funny Myq Kaplan, and featuring performances by people such as: myself. (And some other people.)

Thursday, May 26th at 9pm
Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway Theatre
255 Elm St., Davis Square, next to the Burren
$5 for students with ID, $8 for everyone else
Call 617-591-1616 or visit jtoffbroadway.com for tickets or buy them at the door.
Check the website for information about FREE parking.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

WOMEN OF COMEDY

Bring your uterus and get ready to laugh!
May 9th, 22nd, 29th
Jimmy TIngles's Off Broadway Theater,
Davis Square, 7pm

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

March Comedy Calendar

FRIDAY, MARCH 11th, 7:30pm
Comedy Night
TOAST LOUNGE
70 Union Sq. Somerville (near the INDEPENDENT)
617-623-9211


SUNDAY, MARCH 6th, 7pm
"WOMEN IN COMEDY"
Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway Theatre
255 Elm St., Davis Sq.
617-591-1616
tickets $10, available at : www.jtoffbroadway.com



Terror Breeds Comedy, Thursday March 3rd 8-10pm

A night of education and enlightenment about the threat of the BU Bio-terror Lab. (Okay this isn't exactly funny, maybe just ironic.) Hosted by local activist and middle-class hero, Marc Pelletier. Starring me, plus lots of other funny people: Baratunde Thurston, EJ Murphy, Erin Judge, Rich Gustus & Myq Kaplan.

Suggested donation: $5.

Jorge Hernandez Cultural Center
85 W. Newton St.
South End, Boston

Nearest T = Green - Copley, Prudential or Orange - Back Bay

Cash bar, this is a 21+ event

Sponsored by the Coalition to Stop the BioTerror Lab/SafetyNet/ACE
(www.ace-ej.org) 617-442-3343 ext.233

Friday, February 04, 2005

February Comedy Calendar

STAGE TIME at Jimmy Tingle's

Thurs. Feb. 24 at 7:30pm -- "STAGE TIME VARIETY SHOW" with guest host Emily Singer
An evening of established performers and new faces from world of comedy, music and spoken word.
$10 Tickets, $5 w/ Student ID
For tickets, visit Box Office or go to jtoffbroadway.com.




Watch me instead of the O.C.

I know it's getting good, but come see me instead. This Thursday. Feb. 17,, at 9pm Pugliese's Bar & Grill, 635 Cambridge Street, Cambridge.


Tsunami Relief Show Rescheduled

Thanks for your enthusiastic interest in this show, you guys. It's now been re-named the Benefit to End Ironic Weather! Pray no more blizzards get in the way!

The show will go on Friday, Feb. 18, 8pm at the Riverside Theatre Works, 45 Fairmount Ave. Hyde Park. $15 minimum donation (100% of all proceeds go to CARE's Earthquake and Tsunami Relief and Rehabilitation Fund). For more information and reservations call: (617) 361-7024 or visit riversidetheatreworks.com.


Jimmy Tingle's Off Broadway Theatre

I will be performing at Jimmy Tingle's again soon. Check back here for deets.



March Preview

Comedy to Fight the BU Terror Lab, March 3rd

In between having babies and keeping the world safe for socialists, Marc Pelletier has been leading the charge for an Anti-Bio Lab Comedy Show (catchier title forthcoming). Save the date. It's going to be Thursday, March 3rd at the Jorge Hernandez Cultural Center in the South End. More details to follow soon.

Monday, January 10, 2005

January Comedy Calendar

NO LAUGHING MATTER
Tsunami Relief Charity Show
Jan. 22-23rd at 8pm

A fundraiser standup showcase hosted by Eric Cheung with the proceeds going to CARE's Earthquake and Tsunami Relief and Rehabilitation Fund. The shows are Saturday January 22nd and Sunday January 23rd at 8pm at Riverside Theatre Works located at 45 Fairmount Ave. Hyde Park. I'll be performing Saturday and Sunday night. The Saturday show will be headlined by comic/magician Mike Bent and the Sunday show will be headlined by Tim McIntire. A minimum donation of $15 will be charged. For more information call: (617)361-7024. Find out more about CARE