The other night I farted and my baby started crying. Do you hear what I’m saying? I startled and frightened my own child with my powerful gas. It triggered his fight or flight response. And I can just picture my baby trying to fight my fart. That would be hilarious. Someone please put that shit on YouTube.
And I don’t know if it was the sound or the smell that scared him the most. It was not super loud or strange or high pitched. Just a good ol’ fashioned American fart. Your classic rip. Plus, I don’t know if you have heard this about babies, but they are kind of light sleepers. SO waking them up, even with a good excuse, is a huge pain in the ass. Let’s all just keep quiet about this when he’s old enough to read this.